How to Get More Dates

It really is possible to improve every area of out lives by paying attention to non-verbal communication, and by learning to recognise other peoples’ signals. It’s a fascinating area that not many of us realise, with the right understanding, can drastically improve our chances with the opposite sex.

There are many myths about what certain signals are meant to mean, because signals can vary greatly from person to person. Take folding your arms for example; not only does it sometimes indicate defensiveness, but it can also relate to how chilly or well someone is feeling. Similarly, touching your hair can sometimes mean flirting, but equally could mean the person’s hair is simply getting in the way. It’s a bit of a minefield.

Despite the double meanings however, we all read body language within seconds of meeting and draw conclusions about people as a result, even if we’re not directly aware of the signals. How many times have you taken an almost instant dislike to someone but not been able to put your finger on why? Or dismissed someone in a bar even though they’re normally your type. The chances are their body language is telling you something you don’t like, that you have registered subconsciously.

If you’re trying to attract a date, effective body language, both reading and displaying it yourself, can act in your favour and vastly improve your chances of finding, attracting and keeping the partner you’ve always wanted.

The gossip magazines are packed full of beautiful women who don’t have a partner, so how can this be when they seem to have the looks, money and opportunity? How come less attractive ladies are with partners for years and years, or seem to pick up new dates at the drop of a hat?

It quite simply comes down to body language. You’ve got to use it or lose it!

Facial expression

One of the most important factors in attracting a partner. We all read faces and draw conclusions as soon as we meet. If you’re smiling with a softened expression, added to gentle nods or head to one side, eyebrow raises, smiling and lip pursing, you’re giving your potential partner a huge come on that they can’t ignore. Practise in the mirror! Being aware of your expression and changing it as necessary really will make a difference – as will looking for the same features in others when you’re out.

Your voice

Your rate of speech should be average or a bit slower. It’s important to avoid sounding either impatient or hesitant. The tone of your voice rather than the content is what most people pick up on first so try to avoid sounding cold and harsh. Maintain a clearly audible voice-neither too loud nor too soft – if you rush or mutter you will lose peoples’ attention.

Body posture

Showing you’re attracted to someone, or reading if they’re attracted to you, might include changes in posture such as dipping of the head before raising your gaze again, lifting your chest (man or woman!) and looking your ”target” up and down. An ”accidental” touch as you’re talking and leaning slightly forward with a relaxed but upright posture, keeping your hands away from face and making sure your bodies are positioned toward other will all help attract your potential date and hold their attention for as long as you desire, as will subtly mirroring their gestures so you show you’re totally focused on them.

Improving your date experiences – emanate confidence!

• Make yourself comfortable, neither too close or too far away.
• Be relaxed without slouching. Lean slightly towards them.
• Maintain frequent eye contact – not looking someone in the eye is such a turn off
• Keep your gestures smooth rather than twitchy.
• Your feet and legs should be still and uncrossed, otherwise they become a diversion and a barrier.
• Smiling is so important, as long as it reaches your eyes too.
• Listening is they key to communication and if your date feels they haven’t got your full attention, they will drift too.

Fay Maguire at http://www.countryfriends.weebly.com
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